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When I was going for car sales some years ago, I picked 3 words to embody the cars I wanted to sell- expensive cars. I wanted to align myself with the product and get a job in a completely different industry than I had been in. The product had to be something I believed in and of high quality as I am a horrible liar. I wanted to truly embody how the customers thought about the cars and how they thought about themselves. I wanted to highlight the parts of me that were in alignment with quality, value, beauty, making good choices.
I picked smart, sexy, classy.
Cars are always portrayed as sexy and powerful. High end cars are all about quality, making a smart choice and exude the feeling of class (it's also how the customers perceive themselves).
Smart, sexy, classy was in everything I did. I chose clothes through this filter- is it sexy? classy? high quality? How did I speak and conduct myself?- smart? sexy? classy?
I dressed in fake Chanel, wore my glasses into interviews and sexy high heels. I was confident and powerful. I knew I had succeeded in embodying and aligning myself with my chosen power words when in an interview at an Audi/BMW dealership, the head sales manager was evaluating where to put me in the 6 car brands they had as separate stores- he was thinking out loud and said Honda but then stopped himself and still thinking out loud said, "No, she's too smart and classy for that".
I embodied smart, sexy, classy so much that it came across in dating as well. Men would DESELECT themselves out if they couldn't live up to those 3 words! All the losers fell away- I actually had a few men tell me because they didn't feel smart or classy enough they couldn't date me. The men that pursued me were all confident in themselves. They were smart and classy. They were well-educated with careers, interesting personalities, respectful, did what they said they were going to do- they were quality men.
I didn't delete parts of myself or change anything about myself, I simply consciously chose to highlight what I was putting out to the world. I wanted to naturally use who I was already out in the world. These are just some of my own natural gifts. My message was strong, clear and compelling.
It got me multiple car sales job offers.
It got me multiple quality men to date.
I've often used words or a theme to create greater alignment with what I'm wanting to create/change in my life.
When I was going through a very difficult time in 1990, I would jog down the street using 2 words... each step was: strength, courage, strength, courage, strength, courage all the way down the street. Climbing stairs: strength, courage. Walking across a parking lot or down the hall at work: strength, courage, strength, courage.
I am now full of strength and courage. It's not hidden in me any more. I simply highlighted who I already was to reveal it.
It is critical that the words MUST be who you are already- you are simply highlighting part of who you are to strengthen your message. You are making it crystal clear to people who you truly are and what you are offering. These 3 power words identify who you are so strongly that is synonomous with your name- like me at the car dealership- like in dating and attracting men.
What are your 3 words?
Try them on like this-
I am strong. (in others minds it is "Dana is strong")
I am courageous. ("Dana is courageous")
I am smart. ("Dana is smart.")
I am sexy. ("Dana is sexy.")
I am classy. ("Dana is classy.")
You are the impact.
Your gifts are needed in the world.
Simply be yourself. No more hiding. HIGHLIGHTING!
What do you want your message to the world to be?
Here is an excerpt I sent my friend, Jennifer Shepherd, that is getting cold feet starting her new coaching career. She has been extremely successful in coaching; changing peoples' lives profoundly and giving inspiring talks. She's pretty damn amazing. Her very slippery, sneaky saboteur has been showing up every day- including not using her name on her new biz card!
You HAVE to use your last name. You have to show up for people so they can show up for themselves. If you are too scared to show up for yourself, then just give up now.
In 1990 I had a big break up that caused me to have a big spiritual break down and spiritual break through. A lot of the landscape of my inner self I had hidden away from myself. Parts of my authentic self I had to suppress and hide in order to get along with my family. I had to hide what my heart's desires were, my gifts, my natural energy, my spirituality, my sexuality- all the good stuff plus the fear and pain of not being myself in the world. Anything unacceptable that was a core part of me, I had to hide.
During my break down, I kept having these dreams about very dark, unknown, underground places. I had dreams about kivas, tunnels and dark rooms. I could see this was a fecund place ripe for self discovery and personal insight.
I needed to explore this.
It needed to be alive and take form.
So I made a box of fear and pain.
Using scrap fabric, cardboard and batting, I made a box. The inside is lined with black velvet- something that would absorb light and create a depth of darkness and unknown.
I explored my unknown inner landscape by leaving the lid open, then closing it, putting things in, taking things out, moving it to different rooms. This was exploration that was non-linear, non-thinking, simply exploring the feeling and visualization of exploring the darkness within and what I was hiding and allowing what was inside to be released. Things that had a sacred quality would go in for a few days, then come out and live in the open. Whatever spoke to me, I explored.
I was honoring all parts of myself by using things that felt sacred, that needed to be to be seen, acknowledged, respected, played with, exposed to the light and life. They were all parts of me. They could have a life of their own. I could now have a life of my own by incorporating these unknown, unacknowledged aspects of myself fully into consciousness now.
The hidden parts were valuable authentic parts of myself that others couldn't accept. I simply had to allow them to breathe, see the light of day and be integrated into me consciously. They are now powerful parts of myself, some of my greatest gifts and why I am now a coach and serve others.
The Box of Fear and Pain was a powerful tool that I actively used for a couple of years. I still have this box 27 years later, but there is no longer anything unknown in it or anything needing exploration. Now it simply contains symbols of love.
I invite you to explore your hidden places, the things that you hide away- there is a powerful part of you, an authentic part of you that lives there that needs to see the light and be integrated into your soul and honored. Brought into the light, it is your authentic power actualized.
What if you are enough? Just the way you are?
How can you reveal your true self even more?
What if you believed in yourself fully?
What if you loved yourself so much you made so much extra to share with the world?
You are enough. If you feel less than or are wanting more love, money, happiness, ease, bliss in your life, join me in the Talent Development Mastermind that is coming soon!
You have the power to live your big life and serve in a big way.
Fulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with your values. Values are not morals or principles. They are the essence of who you are—not who you think you should be. For instance, money is not a value, whereas the things that money might buy, such as free time, risk-taking, and being of service are values. When you're aligned with your values, you feel inner harmony, your choices are more easily made, and your actions are in accord with your true self. Take this quiz to see how well you are living in sync with your values.
true or false 1. I have spent time clarifying my values and can easily articulate them.
true or false 2. My values are my own. I have not simply adopted them from parents, teachers or other outside influences.
true or false 3. I based my choice of occupation on my deepest values.
true or false 4. My values are in alignment with the company I work for (or own).
true or false 5. The leaders in my company including myself regularly examine how we are living up to our values and mission.
true or false 6. I turn down money-making or status-building opportunities when they conflict with my values.
true or false 7. In resolving disputes at work, I look beneath the apparent problem to see if values are being dishonored, and then I seek ways to honor them.
true or false 8. Anyone looking at my life from the outside would see what I value.
true or false 9. I use my values as a guidepost for making decisions. I ask if a particular choice would bring me closer to—or further from—a core value.
true or false 10. When I feel upset, it's almost always because my values are being trampled—either by me, someone else, or the situation.
true or false 11. I am not easily swayed by others' opinions when they conflict with my values.
true or false 12. To remain open and flexible, I am willing to re-examine my values to determine whether something is still true for me.
true or false 13. I find creative ways to honor all of my values—even when they conflict with one another.
true or false 14. My work values are in harmony with my personal and relationship values.
true or false 15. If I live according to my values, I will feel satisfied and successful throughout my life.
If you answered true to many of these questions, you are living in alignment with your values. You most likely feel empowered and confident when making decisions because of the clarity you have around your values. Clarity makes decisions an easy yes or no depending on if they are in alignment with values or not. The same is true for organizations.
If you answered false more often than true, you may wish to clarify your deepest values and bring your life into greater alignment with them. This is one of my favorite things to help people with. Let's clarify your true values and gifts to create the life you love and deserve!
This is a truly powerful poem!
"She Let Go" by Safire Rose
She let go.
Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.
Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go.
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort.
There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.